On Sameness

This opinion piece was shared with me yesterday, and it’s one worth a few more words. Its author could have said a lot more about how short-sighted the original article is, and it’s been awhile since I have written anything here.

The original article: The Unbearable Sameness of Cities
Commentary op-ed: Tragically Hipster

Without sounding like too much of a jerk, I’m mildly surprised NY Magazine published Schwindt’s article, even online. I consider myself judgmental to a flaw (it’s something I’ve tried hard to change over the years, but progress is slow, and I think I will always have a Northeastern chip on my shoulder)… but this article is astounding in its lazy judgment and generalization of strangers.

I found the Commentary piece especially charming because one of the books I read (and loved) this past summer was Jacobs’ The Death and Life of Great American Cities. American cities as we know them today have come full circle, with incredible revival especially in downtown districts. And on a more simplistic level, Schwindt might have had less time to focus on the Ikea light fixtures if she had taken time to speak to business owners, chefs or even the ‘young and tattooed and bespectacled’ people behind the counters. What she might have found is that today’s cities, from Nashville to Portland to Austin to Milwaukee to Sacramento, are home to people who love those places and through their commitment to their cities, add many individual pieces of passion that the cities in Jacob’s books had lost through urban planning. Anyone looking into the past at cities like Atlanta, Austin, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Seattle and even Los Angeles and New York would see vastly different human landscapes, and it’s tough to think of many things more authentic than these cities having grown into what they are today.

Reading the original article made me wonder what its writer is really looking for, as I’m not sure what is more authentic than breweries popping up everywhere with their own unique offerings (I think back to being in Denver years ago and stopping into Trve Brewing, a metal brewery erected and much loved thanks to the city’s burgeoning metal scene). Jacobs hated that people couldn’t dine out where they lived; they couldn’t buy groceries in the same block they drank a beer or did their laundry. She explained in Death and Life that restaurant traffic at night, when people were home in the neighborhood, put feet on the ground and added extra vigilance, and crime was less likely when that foot traffic existed in residential spaces where people lived.

In the Western world, prosperity has a sort of look; I mentioned this regarding Prague, and the way it’s begun to look like any other Western European capital. I’ve wondered myself if this is a bad thing, or a dull thing, or a vapid one. Overall, it’s probably a wonderful thing. The sameness Schwindt saw was prosperity, and the ease of doing business: the social capital and societal wealth of the cities and communities within them. What you read in her words is the high level of societal wealth you need to be born into to bitch about having too many restaurants to choose from, and to take the history of cities in America for granted.

More than anything, her exposé on sameness is a display of how easy it is to accumulate hypotheses based on sight alone, and how moronic it is to simply look at someone and pass judgment. Not once in this article was the content of a conversation conveyed. She did not stop once to talk to anyone, to ask important questions: ‘what are you trying to do here?’ to someone who owns a restaurant; not ‘what makes this city special?’ or ‘why here?’ to practically anyone. The real tragedy of articles like this is that there is no expression of curiosity, no desire for a depth of understanding. She wants to see authenticity, without having any real understanding of what she’s looking for.

As someone who finds myself defending New York on a fairly regular basis, I understand this constant search for authenticity. I’ve said many times I prefer New York to Boston, which always felt small and sterile and overbearing to me. I like a city with some garbage on the street here and there, some traces of flawed, impulsive humanity. When I lived in Boston, I found the emptying of its downtown at night creepy and unnatural; as though it was closed for cleaning and would reopen for regular business hours. I think the disarray of many neighborhoods in New York are beautiful and convenient, and comforting to me: everything is chaotically smashed together, and operations churn eternally. I remember moving to Boston for college and thinking it was bullshit that last call at the bar was so early; Massachusetts felt like a nanny state to me, where New York you could get a vodka tonic at 4am and a breakfast sandwich at 11pm if that’s what you wanted. These differences in culture are largely explained in a very cool book I came across, American Nations: A History of the Eleven Rival Regional Cultures of North America: New York/New Jersey’s mercantile beginnings are at odds with the Puritan “community first” underpinnings of New England. In New York, enough people want eggs at midnight to have a diner open and serving. By contrast, in Boston it seemed to me someone decided me ordering a drink at 2am was not acceptable.

But I digress. The two books in this post are well worth the read, if you’re into that sort of thing. And the NY Magazine piece is a great example of how not to live your life steeped in superiority but lacking any desire to really connect or learn. It’s hard to dispute that Jacobs (who died in 2006) would be pleased by the beautiful public spaces that have popped up in Portland; the incredible path from grunge to tech hub that Seattle has taken; the dramatic drop in crime in New York, and growing vibrancy in cities like Minneapolis, Kansas City, Nashville and Austin, which were nondescript blips on a map when she wrote Life and Death. In my lifetime, we will likely see Detroit, Pittsburgh and others rise to those same heights; it’s a shame people in my generation will bitch and moan every step of the way, too caught up with their own supposed uniqueness and authenticity to bother to delve into anyone else’s.

TL;DR

One of the items on my current to-do list was to create a recommended reading list for my colleagues. I’m a part of a high performing team (I don’t dole out compliments like this; we consistently beat our numbers and we have no interpersonal drama, which combined is a monumental achievement), and twice a year or so we go through our so-called ‘Group Norms’ in order to ensure we are all on the same page, and we properly integrate newcomers and keep the bar high. It has been a brilliant strategy for us to maintain ‘synergy,’ a buzz word I hate but a concept that is integral to consistent performance. On top of that, I am the team bookworm weirdo, and I am fairly sure they did not expect this long of a list. But I want to ‘keep it 100,’ as the young people say.

I think it’s safe to say I’m obsessed with reading. I spent three years of my life in a ‘good school’, Boston University. Otherwise, I don’t consider myself well educated in the way a lot of people mean it. I am well self-educated, and my glory years at a private college were wedged between primary education at a crap public high school in upstate New York and a tediously boring online MBA program I completed as quickly as possible (7 months) to stave off prolonged torture. Watching paint dry is more interesting than getting an MBA. If given the option of doing it again or a shotgun shell to the knee cap, I might honestly choose the latter.

I read all kinds of books. One category of many is what I guess you’d loosely call ‘business books’. I’d venture to call some of them ‘self help’ books (aren’t all books self help books? Books help you to learn, by yourself). Mostly they are books about being a part of the world and functioning in different segments of society.

In any case, below is the list I posted for my team. I left off the few I read that were wholly unimpressive. Most of these are very good, some are better than others.

Top 10 with asterisks.

If you’re ambling around here and think I’ve missed one (or ten, or fifty), leave them in my comments.

Balkans pResearch

I’m sort of taking the trip of a lifetime next month. I am pretty sure I don’t know anyone else who would pick Bosnia as their ‘trip of a lifetime’ destination, but that’s neither here nor there, as the old folks say.

I’ve read a ton of books over the past months about the Western Balkans. I’ve always had an affinity for what Anna Politkovskaya might have called ‘a medium sized corner of hell’ (Chechnya was the small one), but I have been cruising through books for the past few months.

I don’t do this with every place I go, because I don’t exhale more time in the day, but I do it with many. I did this before a few weeks in Newfoundland, I have read hundreds of books at this point in my life on the Arctic. This nerdy habit of mine has deepened my learning and sense of experiential quality when traveling, especially to off-the-beaten-path destinations.  Additionally, I hope that someday someone will wander across this and be wondering what books are a must for their forthcoming Balkan adventure. They will more likely than not be blessed with the same  comments I have been:

“(awkward silence)”
“Watch out for landmines!”
“Is there anything left to see there?”
“I don’t think I ever thought I’d tell someone to ‘have fun in Bosnia!”

As they say in millennial slang, haters gon’ hate.

Not in this list: my winter jackpot find, a €29,95 copy of Sarajevo: A study in the origins of the Great War by RW Seton-Watson:

sarajevo

Must Reads:
Black Lamb and Grey Falcon: A Journey Through Yugoslavia
The Bridge on the Drina
Balkan Ghosts: A Journey through History
Fortunes of War: The Balkan Trilogy

Must Peruse, at the very least:
The Mountain Wreath

Bonus Reads:
S., A Novel about the Balkans (everything by Slavenka Drakulić is wonderful)
They Would Never Hurt A Fly: War Criminals on Trial at the Hague
Sarajevo Daily
The Serbs
My War Gone By, I Miss It So

Czechmate

Oh hi, me again. Just returned from my second year of Brutal Assault. Having sufficiently horrified my coworkers by attending such a festival (‘Brutal Assault? OMG’), and arriving in possession of one Forever 21 panda suit (I pledged to wear a panda suit if we went back for year 2), I’m sad it will be nearly impossible to convince anyone to attend for a third year.

I’ve been to a lot of metalfests; Brutal Assault is my favorite. The disappointment in Diablo Swing Orchestra and Ihsahn canceling was fresh in our minds, but despite the searing heat and smelly campers, it was great. The lineup wasn’t as good as last year, though Arkon Infaustus alone was worth the trip; I chose to fly 10,000 miles to see them without the fast food smelling smog and 100% humidity of Baltimore at Maryland Deathfest. I felt like there were too many people, but I would go again. Just ask. I’m in.

This festival overall is (a) cheap (b) well organized (c) seems to attract metalheads that have grown out of the puking and shoving phase of metal fandom. This year had a bit too many huge metal bands, though I will say even I was charmed by tens of thousands of people tribal-jigging and bellowing ‘rooooots…. bloody roooooots’ at the end of Sepultura’s set.

The venue, Fortress Josefov, is beautiful. 100 Euros, deposited onto your RFID bracelet at the beginning of the festival, will buy you four days of beer and food (and maybe even some merch). The lodging package comes with four-star Eastern bloc accommodations, complete with windows that don’t stay open, questionable carpet stains and shower heads that sear the first few layers off your skin, ensuring you are super clean and fresh for another day of fighting the bourgeoisie. The best thing this hotel has to offer is the incredible disparity between its online photo and real life.

cernigov

Overall, there is something special about this country. City-wise, Prague is different than the slowly reforming grey spiritual necropolis I remember from my youth (at 34, I’m a huge fan of acting like I’m as old as time, but what I mean is, this Prague is so different than the city I initially visited in the very early 00s). Albert Camus wrote a lot about Prague, and his portrait is in some ways more the city I think of, although in a more endearing way. Some of us just like to travel to ominous ‘Eastern Europe.’

I will keep my hipster ‘Prague is too touristy’ whining to myself, though friends echoed my complaints this year; more positively, it’s been a pleasure to watch the capital and much of the country grow and prosper. There are vacationers everywhere, although perhaps a few too many who complain that Czechs don’t smile enough (Slavenka Drakulić actually said some funny things about Westerners expecting people in Eastern European countries to smile for no reason). You can buy a beer for less than $2. Prague is rapidly approaching Western Europe for Eastern European prices. The expanding homogeneity of European capitals is pretty lame; the cost is not.

But what makes so-called Czechia different?  The country joined the EU in 2004, alongside the Baltics, Hungary, Poland, Slovakia and Slovenia. Many of the former Eastern bloc countries are prosperous (some are backsliding, like Poland and Hungary, though those two are regressing in different ways). After a fair amount of time spent in each of these countries, it’s tough to think of one that is doing better. What is it that makes this country so prosperous? Maybe location, sandwiched partly between Germany and Austria. Maybe they are just West enough that they’re better by osmosis. I asked this question to some other people I spoke with, and was told by one person that Czechs are never satisfied with their own performance, which was demonstrated later at the festival when the shuttle admin guy told me that he was happy I liked the festival, but ‘things could be better.’ Maybe it’s just that good ol’ Protestant work ethic seeping over the border.

This blog is not about serving up answers, because I don’t have any, so that’s what I spent some time thinking about. That, and where to get my next plate of schnitzel. I happened to tag along to Český Krumlov before flying home, as well, which was a pretty charming little medieval town, albeit crammed with tour groups for the day (at night, it empties out). The town reminded me in many ways of Salzburg, which will always be superior because they have the Sound of Music Tour. (I’m not kidding: I took that tour twice. In one day).

cesky

And that’s a wrap. Next up on Post-Communist Adventure Travel for Entitled White People: Bosnia and most of the rest of those bloodsoaked, brutal Balkans in September.

Aaand… one finale-worthy meat plate for good measure. Schnitzel has its own tag in this blog, and I expect to utilize it.

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Free to Choose

The following is an abridged version of an e-mail sent to my siblings yesterday.

I wanted to drop you both a line (or around 500) before I leave for Prague, I know you are both feeling sort of disenchanted with your lives (for very different reasons). Not saying you need to listen to me but I wanted to mention some things about so-called ‘passion’ and money.

I think people do a really good job of telling you when you’re a kid to ‘follow your heart’ and ‘follow your dreams’ and whatever and I think in some respects that is total bullshit. Life in the US is about individual liberty… but most jobs are not ideal. Work is a part of life and I think very often the best you can do is find a job you don’t necessarily hate. Do it well and find a silver lining, with the intention of doing what you want in your free time and achieving financial stability so that one misstep doesn’t cost you everything.

My whole life people have told me that I have an ‘awesome job,’ but each job I had came with a lot of features I hated. What these jobs all had in common is that as much as some parts of them sucked, I found silver linings and capitalized on unique opportunities. In those [first] 6 years [of my career], the only short term material goal I achieved: I bought a freaking car. Big whoop, right? But to me it was a symbol of what I could do if I kept working hard.

I still wouldn’t say I have a ‘dream job’. What I do have is important things that I wanted — I don’t have to worry about breaking my leg and not being able to afford it. I don’t have to work 24/7 because I have a lot of vacation time. This past year I decided my house costs too much and to rent it out, since being in one place continuously is not really my thing, so I live with my friends and pay 1/3 of what I was paying to my mortgage. Is it [as] awesome to live with my friends [as living in my own house]? No. It’s definitely not ideal, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make to save money so that I [have fewer sources of short- and long-term stress].

If you remember what I was like when I was a kid, I wanted to work in the space industry. The sad reality is, while that is a totally reasonable career path, I wanted freedom more than anything else. I have a strong work ethic because I didn’t want to end up being a bartender or a construction worker or whatever like many, many people we all went to high school with. My passion is having lots of options. I wanted to pick wherever I wanted to live on a map and decide I could live there and have the qualifications to get a good job.

I think you guys sometimes both look at this stuff in the wrong way. You might have a lot of experience or you might want to go a certain way, but there are always going to be shitty things about any situation in your life… the key is to just focus on where you can go from wherever you are and how to use what you have. I very easily feel trapped, and I have spent most of my life avoiding that feeling by building financial security and self sufficiency. In today’s world, the road to freedom is paved with money, so whether or not you are materialistic, you need to save and make sacrifices, and plan to slowly get to where you want to be over time. I graduated in 2005; moved to ■ in 2006. That was twelve years ago! It took me twelve years of busting my ass, but my goals were always consistent: I just wanted the freedom to choose.

My life looks very fun and cool, and many parts of it are. But keep in mind that everyone’s life is shitty and boring sometimes. I don’t post pictures of myself toiling over Excel spreadsheets, sending reports and arguing on the phone (which is pretty much what I do every day), or waking up [early] to go consult on the side before I start my regular job. I don’t post about cleaning up dog poop all week because I live with two asshole dogs that don’t belong to me, or washing other peoples’ dishes. I don’t post about the fact that I spend about half of every Sunday working so I am ahead of the game on Mondays. Literally everyone’s life is annoying in different ways: you just have to figure out what you want to accept and what you don’t.

Long story short, life is not about working in a dream job. That is a giant lie. A job is a job! Count yourself lucky if you don’t hate going to work every day. Life is about acquiring enough financial stability to dig yourself out of whatever challenges arise, and being able to have autonomy and freedom to choose: what to do, where to live, to take a vacation, to buy something you want. Freedom is what makes people happy… not money. People want choices and liberty, and the way that you get that is with money. Money is just a tool, but one you need to get what you want.

M told me today when I talked to her that today is the day I pulled out of the driveway to move to Alaska. That was definitely one of the happiest days of my life, because I wanted so badly to keep working toward my goals. But it was just a step! There are always more steps, and every one has been challenging in its own ways. S, as far as you’re concerned, think carefully about [selling your] business. You have more freedom than most people do — I think you guys just need to figure out how to align saving money with [the rest of] your goals. D, you don’t need to find some phantom ‘passion’ — you just need to want to have a better life. That is really all I wanted. It takes time and effort and commitment. Every step of the way people told me I was stupid and crazy… for moving back to ■, for moving to Alaska, for taking a huge pay cut, etc. Life sucks for everyone sometimes and I really don’t think there’s any such thing as a dream job. A job is ultimately something you ‘have to’ do — who the hell wants to ‘have to’ do anything at all?

I know this is a long email but I think it’s something worth considering. You should never look at other peoples’ lives and use that as a standard. You don’t need to be passionate about whatever you are doing: just do it well enough and use it as a step toward whatever your big picture goals are. If S wants to move out of [state], there will be a lot of steps between where she is now and moving. D, you have a lot of steps between where you are now and wherever you want to go. You should both be striving not to be millionaires in the sense of being rich people, but being rich in options. That is what makes people happy, and you need money to have that kind of wealth. It’s just that it’s not the money that makes you rich — it’s the freedom it buys you. That’s why it’s important to save, and plan, and have goals, and use every position you’re in as an opportunity.

I will shut up now. But I wanted to tell you all of this, I hope it’s at least something to think about. I don’t know if anyone has explained money to you in this way, but this is how I see money. D1 talks a lot about saving, but maybe different words will help. I’m not saying you have to want the same things as me, either, I am sure they are different, but I wanted to share my perspective.

In the Beginning

Oh hey there. Welcome to the 534847th blog I’ve started in my life. I was reading someone else’s blog post today and thought, ‘this is so boring,’ followed immediately by ‘hey, I should start a new blog’ followed by ‘that is an awful idea.’

And yet, here we are. To be completely honest, I consider myself a fairly boring person, but I also know that’s not (entirely) true. Some of my earlier blogs were not the absolute worst. Others can only be described as terrible. And, in recent years, I’ve scrapped most of the recreational online presence of mine that escaped forever engraving in The Google.

That said, I think it’s time. My hope is that this blog (the word alone makes me shudder with revulsion) becomes a record more of thoughts than of emotion, and there is nothing so revealing as to compromise any positive aspects of my life or relationships.

Who has access to this? More than a handful, but less than a truckload of people who have been friends for various lengths of time, located in various timezones. More often far than near, but that’s a story for another day…

Header photo: February 2014, Kalidalur, Iceland.